Here’s the thing nobody tells you when you get engaged: the announcement isn’t just one moment. It’s a hundred little moments, each one carrying its own set of emotions and complications. There’s the easy part — the ring selfie, the Instagram post, the family dinner where everyone cries happy tears. And then there are the trickier moments — calling the long-distance parent before they see it online, figuring out what to say to your single best friend, navigating the office announcement without it becoming weird. I’ve seen a lot of these moments play out over 15 years in this industry. Let me walk you through them.
Not Every Announcement Is a Simple Social Media Post
We spend a lot of time talking about the Instagram announcement — the photo, the caption, the hashtags. And yes, that’s important. But the conversations that happen before you ever touch your phone? Those are the ones that actually matter most. Because relationships are more complex than a grid post, and some of the people you love most require a little more intention than a tag in a photo.
Let’s go through the situations that deserve their own attention.
How to Announce Your Engagement at Work
Okay, the office announcement. It’s a little different from everything else, and here’s why: work is its own ecosystem with its own politics and dynamics, and how you handle your engagement there can set the tone for a lot of conversations over the next year of wedding planning.
My general advice: tell your manager or your closest work friends personally before it becomes general knowledge. This isn’t about asking permission — it’s about professional courtesy and maintaining the relationships that matter. Give the people you actually care about the chance to hear it from you first.
After that? The ring will do its work. You don’t need to send a company-wide email. You don’t need to make an announcement at the Monday morning standup. Just wear your ring, be your joyful self, and let the natural conversations happen.
- Tell your manager first — not so they can approve, but so they don’t find out through the grapevine.
- Share with close work friends personally before the general announcement.
- Keep it professional when talking about wedding planning during work hours — occasional mentions are fine; constant updates are a different thing.
- If coworkers start asking lots of questions you’re not ready to answer, it’s completely fine to say ‘we’re still figuring out details!’
One more thing: if your workplace has HR considerations around things like parental leave or name changes, make a note to address those at the appropriate time — but that’s a separate conversation from the announcement itself.
Sharing the News with Long-Distance Family
Long-distance family makes the engagement announcement a little more complicated — and a lot more meaningful, if you handle it right. The challenge is making people feel close to the moment even when they’re far away. The opportunity is giving them something they’ll talk about for years.
Here’s my strong, non-negotiable recommendation: video call before you post. Always. There is something irreplaceable about watching someone’s face when they hear news like this. You can hear the sharp intake of breath. You can see the tears. You can experience the joy together in real time — even from 2,000 miles away.
A text message is not the same thing. An email is definitely not the same thing. And finding out through a Facebook post? That hurts in a way that takes a while to heal, even for people who love you unconditionally.
Pick up the phone. Do the FaceTime. Let them be part of the moment even from across the country. Your effort will mean everything to them.
A few practical tips:
- Schedule the call if possible — you don’t want to catch someone at a bad time for one of the biggest conversations of their life
- Have your partner join the call if at all possible — their family will want to see you both
- Expect the call to go long. Have nowhere to be. Let it unfold.
- Send a photo afterward — something personal, not just the ring selfie you’ll post publicly
Telling Single Friends You’re Engaged — With Grace
I’m going to be real with you for a second, because this situation deserves honesty: telling single friends you’re engaged can feel complicated. Not because they don’t love you or aren’t happy for you — most of the time they absolutely are — but because joy and longing can show up at the same party, and that’s a complicated emotional experience for anyone.
The most important thing you can do is tell your single friends personally and privately whenever possible. Don’t let them find out through a group chat or a social media post. Give them the dignity of a direct conversation where they can have their reaction without an audience.
And when you do tell them — be genuinely excited without being performative about it. Share your joy, but leave space for their response without expectation. Don’t immediately launch into wedding planning. Don’t assume they’ll want to be your maid of honor. Just share the news, let it land, and be patient.
Most of the time, the initial reaction is purely human — and the genuine happiness for you comes quickly after. Real friendships are big enough to hold both emotions at once.
- Tell close single friends personally, not through a group text.
- Choose a calm, private setting if possible.
- Share the news warmly without over-performing your excitement.
- Give them space to react without expectation.
- Don’t immediately pivot to wedding talk.
- Check in on them in the days that follow — not to process your engagement, but just because they’re your friend.
Including Children in Your Engagement Announcement
If there are children in your family — yours, your partner’s, or shared — including them in your engagement announcement can be one of the most beautiful, meaningful things you do. Because this ‘yes’ isn’t just about two people. It’s about a family forming. And acknowledging that from the very beginning matters.
There are so many genuinely sweet ways to include kids in an engagement announcement. A photo of the children holding a sign that says ‘We’re getting a stepmom/stepdad!’ The kids holding the ring box. A video of their reaction when they heard the news. A photo of the whole family together, newly complete.
One important note: make sure the children are genuinely on board and excited before including them in the public announcement. Talk to them first. Make sure they’ve had time to process the change. Let their participation in the announcement be joyful and voluntary — not performed for the camera.
When it’s genuine? Those posts get ALL the happy tears. Because watching a family grow is one of the most moving things there is.
The ‘Will you be my stepmom?’ video might be the most powerful content you ever create. It tells the whole story of what this yes actually means.
Announcing a Second Engagement Respectfully
If you’re announcing a second engagement and you’re wondering how to handle it — I want to say this clearly and without any ambiguity: you don’t owe anyone an explanation or an apology. Love is worth celebrating every single time. A second engagement is not lesser. It is not something to minimize or preface with disclaimers. It is a beautiful thing, and you deserve to claim that fully.
That said, there are a few things that can make the announcement feel more intentional:
- Post when YOU are emotionally ready — not when you feel like you should, or when you’re trying to get ahead of people finding out through the grapevine.
- The tone doesn’t need to be somber or apologetic — it can be joyful and celebratory, because that’s what it is.
- You get to decide how much context you provide. You don’t have to explain your first marriage. You don’t have to address what came before. You just have to tell your story, the way you want to tell it.
- Handle close family and friends personally before posting, especially anyone who might have complicated feelings.
Your joy is real. Your love is real. Your ‘yes’ is worth celebrating at full volume.
What to Do When Someone Reacts Poorly
It’s going to happen. Maybe not often, and hopefully not in a way that sticks — but somewhere in the process of sharing your engagement news, someone is going to say the wrong thing. ‘Aren’t you moving too fast?’ ‘What about the last one?’ ‘You know marriage is hard, right?’ And it’s going to sting.
Here’s what I want you to remember: other people’s reactions to your engagement say far more about them than they say about you or your relationship. Most of the time, awkward or hurtful reactions come from a complicated place — their own fears, their own history, their own unresolved feelings. Not malice. Just complicated humanness.
Give grace where you can. Set limits where you need to. And focus the vast majority of your energy on the people who are celebrating loudly. That’s where your joy lives. Don’t let the one weird comment drown out the 200 ones filled with love.
You are not required to justify your happiness to anyone. Share the news, receive the love, and gently redirect the noise.
Final Thoughts: Your Joy Belongs to You
All of this — the calls before the post, the thoughtful conversation with your single best friend, the video call to your parents in another time zone — it’s all just an expression of the same thing: love in action. You’re engaged because you love someone deeply enough to choose them forever. Extending that same intentionality to the people you love in the announcement process isn’t extra work. It’s just more of who you already are.
Take your time. Make the calls. Have the conversations. And when you’re ready — post your ring selfie, write your caption, and let the world celebrate with you. You’ve earned it.
Weddings by Holly Lou 
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